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Have you ever asked someone for something when he or she is not paying attention and there is no response, à la "in one ear and out of the other"? We all know how annoying this can be and surely there is a reason for it.

I have observed this phenomenon. I ask someone for something explicitly, but nothing happens because most likely the other person does not really hear my request or is not paying attention even though he / she may hear me "acoustically". Alternatively, an implicit request may not be responded to because the other person does not understand it and does not say so. Can it be that the request... ...is vague, it includes words such as "now", "always" or "never" that may be hard to grasp, ...lacks clarity, it asks for respect without specifying by whom to whom or how it is to be demonstrated, ...is subjective, it asks somebody "to be nice" as such. A request is open to personal interpretation as someone may think he / she is always nice but others may disagree, ...is exclusive, i.e. "I do not want". We learn from our children when we say that "should not happen", does that mean everything else can happen. When I think about it carefully, I realise I may not only make one or the other of the above "mistakes" with my requests, I combine them. So, what can I do? Be specific  when describing what I want - ideally with justification, what I need the outcome from my request, Ask for something feasible.  Can the other person really do what I want (which also includes: does he want to do it?) The chances of the request being met are much better when the answers to these questions are positive, Be precise  by using expressions such as "this afternoon at 16:00" instead of now (or "now-like"), Be prepared for a "no".  Ultimately, it is the other person's decision whether and how he responds to the request. If a "no" return (perhaps only in body language), this is not an end to the dialogue - but an invitation to continue talking. A request is not a one-way street but part of a dialogue. Chances are better that a request is heard and acted upon when attention is paid to what and how it is said by the other person to complete the dialogue (see "Active Listening").   (English version: Faez Tuma, PMI Austria Chapter)